Promise

We have all been victims to broken promises.
We have all been the one to break a promise.

God never breaks his promises.

I think back on my life at the times I wondered where God was.
-When was he going to fulfill all he’s promised me?
-When would my breakthrough happen?
-Why do I have to wait so long to have His promises fulfilled for me?

It was, and can be, discouraging. But in those times of wonder and discontent I see God. He does make promises but he never promises to fulfill them right away. God is a God of patience. He teaches us in the waiting period. That’s why it is so important during the waiting period to watch how we wait. Even though its rough and can be lonely, will we still tell God we love Him and hang onto Him? Will we try to make the promise come true by our own doing? All we need to do is hang tight to God and take each step at a time. When God knows we are ready, his promise for us will be fulfilled.

It will be worth the patient wait, no matter how long it may be.

Come Boldly

Hebrews 4:16 (NKJV) – Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

I struggle with prayer. Most times it’s the last thing on my mind to do. If I’m going through a difficult time I tend to overthink the situation and go through possible solutions over and over again in my mind. The Lord usually has to remind me in some way to stop, and pray. How embarrassing right? Especially as a Christian. Isn’t prayer supposed to be the first thing we think of to do?

I love the wording of Hebrews 4:16 in the New King James Version. “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace“.

Grace. God’s sweet amazing grace. In those times I try to figure out situations by myself I have to come boldly to Him. By boldly I mean coming to Him and apologizing for trying to do things on my own. Thankfully His throne is filled with so much grace. Even in all those times when I have forgotten to pray first above all else, He has still been there. Because that is what God does. He waits patiently for us.

I can’t help but wonder what my life would be like if I came boldly to God first in times of trouble or times of need. It’s definitely something I need to work on.

Father, I always want to be near to you. I struggle with prayer, and you know that. There are far too many times I’m unplugged instead of plugged in. Please help me, and anyone else who struggles, to remind us to always be plugged into You. Thank you for your grace. Amen! ❤

He Has Known Me

If you look up know and known the definitions are the same, but to me, known is such a stronger word. When I think of the word know, I think of the current. We know this or we know that. When I think of the word known, I think of the past or something I’ve known for a long time. In Psalm 139 verse 1 it says:

O Lord, you have searched me and known me! (ESV)

This verse this morning really struck me. It struck me in a peaceful, wonderful kind of way. The Lord has known me.

The verses go on to say that he knows our every word before it is on our tongues. That he formed our inward parts and knitted us together in our mother’s wombs. We were intricately woven by God himself. He saw our unformed bodies and he wrote all of our days in His book.

To me, this is the definition of known. And how wonderful is it? I know some people are turned off by the fact that God knows everything about them, or they think that it’s not possible. For me personally, I take joy in knowing that God has known me and knows me. We have people close to us that know us and care for us here on this earth. But we have someone who is always there. Always watching. Always guiding. He has known us and he knows us.

It excites me that He held me before I was even a thought in my parent’s minds. It excites me that the little girl growing inside of me has already been held by God himself. That He, right now, is molding and forming her in my womb. He is in complete control of her. Her days have been marked in his book. I pray her days are many.

Life is such a precious gift.

Born Angry

I won’t lie, I am horrible at keeping up with my Jesus Time. I’m horrible at remembering to pray. I love Jesus with all my heart but these two things don’t come naturally to me. Most times I will get into a routine for a few weeks of daily praying and reading some type of devotional and I’ll feel fantastic and right on track with life and then one day it slips my mind and I’m right back to just living life and trying to fix my own problems. That is where I am currently at.



What a sad place to be.



I can’t do anything. I mean, I can, but doing it without God’s help or direction is just pointless. HE is the reason I am here. HE has blessed me with my family, friends, job, a roof over my head, food on the table to eat. He knows EVERYTHING about me. Do I really not trust him when I say that I do? Because if I trusted him I shouldn’t have these problems…right?



Yesterday I turned on my Kindle and opened up my devotional called “From Grouchy to Great”. Cause well, I’m 8 weeks pregnant and my level of non-patience and major frustration with anyone and everyone has been through the roof. So the devotional fits the situation right? haha When I opened it up I was on day 18 that was titled: But what if I was born angry? And on the same page was a little graphic that read: 



The way God made me is good — but if I’m not yielded to Him with my strengths and weaknesses, I’ll make a mess of my life and my relationships.

I struggle with this daily. DAILY. I feel like I can never get a hold of myself. And when I do finally feel like I have a hold of myself it only takes one small stupid thing to set me over the edge and then there I am again, knocked back down. I get so tired of struggling that I literally pray and just repeat over and over again, *God please help me, please change me. God please help me, please change me.*. But yesterdays But what if I was born angry? really opened my eyes. The devotional goes on to say:



The fact is that I will always have a propensity toward anger, much like Paul’s thorn in his side. But by God’s grace, anger doesn’t have to control me. Through the power of the Holy Spirit at work in me, I can walk in step with the spirit — sensitive to my triggers and surrendering to God my issues and frustrations — as I grow in trusting God with the things that seem to make me the most crazy.

So really, it’s not about changing and things being taken away for good. There will always be that part of me that wants to burst out in anger, but it’s about letting God lead and letting God show me ways to deal with my anger in a Godly way. Some things are just woven into us for life, but that doesn’t mean we have to live with the burden of whatever it is. I have a God who loves me so so much and hates to me see me struggling. He can help me, and he WILL help me. At the end of the devotional it reads:

I pray that if you’re a born-angry sister, you’ll find hope in knowing that God made you for a good purpose, too. It’s time to embrace how you’re made as you seek God for any healing you need in your wounded heart and for the Holy Spirit to come alive within you, so that you may walk in His ways.



I love moments in life like this when God speaks to me and things just click and make sense. Thank you God for being so good to me.

God’s Grace

I’m currently reading this amazing devotional called, “From Grouchy to Great: Finding Joy In The Journey Of Motherhood”. Let’s face it, being a mom can sometimes be downright awful. You love your child/children with everything you are, but sometimes they are just too much to handle. Their attitudes, their tantrums, their crying and moaning over ridiculous things. From my own personal experience it has made me want to give up. I’ve wanted to pack a bag and move away to live a much simpler life. Because I’ve thought this thought doesn’t mean I would act on this thought. I love my son so incredibly much, and in the grand picture, those negative moments get outweighed by many many more positive moments. But that doesn’t make those negative moments any less negative. Being a mom is hard.

In today’s reading (Day 13) response questions, it asks: “How have my kids taught me about God’s grace?” My answer was this: “Noah has taught me about God’s grace in many ways. Kids are so forgiving! I’ve yelled, I’ve screamed, I’ve breathed words through gritted teeth and I’ve picked him up and carried him out of places (to name a few), yet he still loves me. He calls me mom and wants my hugs and kisses. He runs to me when he’s hurt or when he’s sad. He has such a great heart.”

After I wrote that I realized something. Kids are little bits of God’s grace handed straight to us. Yep, wrapped up in that emotional mess of a child who throws you attitude and throws massive tantrums is God’s grace. Kids are more Christ-like then any of us will ever be. They always forgive and they always love. They are the reason God tells us to become like little children.

God is our Father and we can run to him anytime. Even with our adult attitudes, adult tantrums and our crocodile tears and moaning when life isn’t going our way.

Here is the link to the devotional: http://www.amazon.com/Grouchy-Great-Finding-Journey-Motherhood-ebook/dp/B00KNXMTY4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1415821806&sr=8-1&keywords=From+Grouchy+to+Great

Don’t Forget

So here’s the sitch. Anyone know that reference? Kim Possible? OK, moving on.

I realized something and I felt like a major dork when God slapped me in the face with it. During my time at The Cove listening to Melissa Taylor and others speak about real life dreams, I was so focused on discovering that dream deep in my heart that I wanted to fulfill. That one thing I could find time to pursue, that one thing that would make my heart so happy to be doing. I realized…I’m already living my dream. Each day I get to wake up, stay home with my son, get to teach my son, all while watching and teaching other children. My home daycare was once my dream.

I will never forget when I first really heard about home daycare. I was at my past daycare center job and one of my co-workers was discussing her home daycare that she closed down to come work at the center. I won’t lie, dollars signs were floating around in my mind and at first that was what really was enticing me to pursue it. Everything my co-worker was saying just sounded so good. Making money while getting to stay at home? What doesn’t sound great about that?! So I went to God in prayer and to my husband about the idea of turning our home into a daycare a good chunk of hours every day. At the time we lived in a duplex. It was small, but the perfect size for our little family. This thought of a home daycare consumed my mind. I really wanted to do it, and I even called my landlord for the okay and he gave it to me. Although I knew in my heart that my limited space was not enough. So I shelved my idea and just went on with the normal routine of life. Then in August of 2013 we bought out first house. I knew before going into buying the house that once we moved in and got settled I wanted to start the home daycare process. There were inservice classes to take, DCFS visits to be had and children to find to care for. Paperwork that needed to be made up, things that needed to be bought to make my house suitable to care for children according to DCFS standards. It was all so exciting to me.

On October 7th it will be a year that I have been in business. I have had kids come and go, but most importantly, God’s hand has been all over my business. I trust him with my daycare fully because he pushed me to open it. There were times when I wanted to give up. Times when I thought, forget this I can’t do it, I’ll just get a 9 to 5 job like everyone else. But God pushed this on my heart and I knew I had to answer his calling.

I’m not writing this to brag. Although I have to admit, I feel pretty proud of myself for what I have accomplished. I’m writing to remind you not to live in the future and forget about what you have and have going on today in the present. I was living in the future during the Real Life Dreams Retreat. Can I have other dreams other then my home daycare? Of course I can! But I can’t let what is in front of me slip out of my mind. I know God has great things in store for me and he’ll reveal those dreams one day at a time.

All we have to do is take one step at a time.

What Is Our Reward?

When you hear the word reward, what do you think? When I hear the word reward I think of money, an expensive technological gadget, or possibly a vacation somewhere. Something big and something extravagant. The last couple of mornings I have read two verses from Hebrews that really got me thinking about the word reward and what that means coming from our Heavenly Father. It definitely doesn’t mean money, a technological gadget or a vacation somewhere. Although God, if you’re reading this, a vacation to Paris would be superb. 🙂

Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. -Hebrews 10:35 (ESV)

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. -Hebrews 10:35 (NIV)

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. -Hebrews 11:6 (ESV)

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. -Hebrews 11:6 (NIV)

Our reward is God. For some people that may not seem like enough. How could it not be? Time and time again God has shown his love, faithfulness and most importantly grace to me personally.

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. -Ezekial 36:26 (ESV)

A new heart. That is what we all need. That is what we all get when we trust in the Lord and start building a relationship with him. We get God, our Heavenly Father, living inside of us. That is our reward.

That is so much better then any amount of money, any type of technological gadget or a vacation anywhere.

Real Life Dreams

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. -Ephesians 3:20

WOW! What a great weekend I had attending the Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Study Retreat in Asheville, North Carolina. So much truth was spoken by Melissa Taylor, Lisa Allen, and Nicki Koziarz. I took so many notes and God spoke to my heart in many ways. The word of the weekend was dreams. What are our dreams? Not fairytale, happily ever after dreams but our real life dreams. I’ve had dreams in my lifetime. Dreams to encourage women with my life and life stories and God’s word. Dreams of writing a children’s book or a book of encouragement for women. Dreams such as being the best mom and wife I can be or just blogging more. Here’s the thing, I always let doubt and fear and rejection hold me back. What ifs fill my mind and my heart and block me from pursuing those dreams. God is speaking to me, he is stirring something in my soul. Telling me that if I don’t go after my dreams I’ll be missing out on a lot of blessings He has for me. Do I just want to go about life living mediocre? Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom, a wife and I love running my own home daycare. I can do so much more then that though. I can be and do all those things plus more. I guess when I really think about it I would feel selfish for pursuing my dreams. Dedicating time to myself doesn’t feel right with a husband, son and two fur babies (our cat and dog). Though God keeps telling me to not forget about me, don’t let my dreams die. I’m so thankful for the time I got to spend at The Cove in the beautiful mountains. I’m thankful for the rest I got and the time with God that I got to spend. I’m thankful for the quiet voice of God speaking to me and reviving me. Now its time to pursue some dreams one step at a time.

Only God Can Judge Me

 

I find this saying so incredibly annoying, frustrating and a slew of other words that branch from these ones. While it is true, my annoyance is in the fact that people use it as an excuse to behave how they want. Hebrews 4:12-13 says:

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

I just don’t think people really know what they are saying when they repeat, “Only God can judge me.” Hebrews says that the word of God is alive and active. That God judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. NOTHING is hidden from God’s sight. Do you show God’s love? Can he be seen in your life daily? In your words? This is truly what God is judging.

I guess as a Christian I find it so frustrating because I really try every day to live the best I can for my God. Do I mess up? Sure do! Do my actions and my thoughts always please God? Sure don’t! But I daily come to God and tell him I messed up and to ask for his forgiveness. That is what God judges. That is what that saying means. Judgment wasn’t put in place to get a free pass to act as you chose. It’s meant as discipline from our heavenly father to get right with him and focus on striving to be more and more like him each day.

 

Every. Thing.

The other night I was thinking about my life. My past, all the way up until my present, and even into my future. All I could do was just be in awe of what God has done.

Every trial.

Every victory.

Every tear.

Every smile.

Every loss.

Every gain.

Every. Thing.

Now-a-days my Christian life is not understood. It’s deemed stupid, judgmental, and hypocritical. This makes my heart ache. Not because of these things people are saying, but for them. They are missing out on such an incredible life. Because when you follow God with everything you are, his blessings outweigh peoples words. His blessings outweigh peoples hate. I will never stop praying for peoples lost souls, because I know God’s power and what he can do. He can creep into the darkest corners of hearts and shed light. He can transform lives. He can change people. It is nothing I can do. I will never stop sharing the good news about God, and this incredible life he has given me. I can not change anybody. My words and even experiences aren’t strong enough. That is a God thing.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for all that you are and all that you give me. I definitely don’t deserve your love. I don’t deserve my incredible husband, or my amazing son. I don’t deserve anything that I claim is mine. All I have is borrowed and you’ve chosen me to lend it to. I thank you for that. Lord, I pray for those that don’t know you. Shed some light into their hearts. Open their hearts and minds to you. So you can begin using them in incredible ways. I want my deepest desire to be you and I want others to see that desire and want it also. Thank you again and again and again. In your name I pray, Amen.